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Results from the Realities Matrix
For each elemental life task (work, relations and self), we have the freedom to choose the goal direction.
These choices are based on the decision to strive for individual self-elevation (“Self Above Service”) or social contribution (“Service Beyond Self”). [1]
A feeling of encouragement or discouragement at different intensity levels is dependent on the consequences. [2]
SELF ABOVE SERVICE ç è SERVICE BEYOND SELF (Discouraging) (Encouraging) Superiority ç WORK è Contribution
Choosing work activity that contributes usefully to others demonstrates an interest in social contribution and is encouraging. Striving in work for the purpose of achieving individualistic superiority alone leads to discouragement.
Domination ç RELATIONS è Cooperation
Choosing to relate cooperatively with others as equals forms an encouraging belonging with them. [3] Choosing to relate to others through domination, in the service of self-elevation, leads to discouragement. Withdrawal ç SELF è Connection
Choosing to connect with others from the authentic and significant self is the most elementary form of courageous self expression. [4] To withdraw from others in a defensive and “safe-guarding of self” way leads to further discouragement.
[#1] The use of the term “beyond” in this context suggests that the “self” and “relations” tasks are important developments prior to real “service.” Consequently, real “service” is possible following the establishment of self and relations and is not “above” them and “instead” of them. [#2] “Possession psychologists attempt to trace every kind of symptom to the obscure regions of an uncertain heredity or to such environmental influences as are generally regarded as unsuitable. But this does not mean anything for the individual case, because the child receives, digests, and responds to such influences with a certain arbitrariness. Individual Psychology is the psychology of use and emphasizes the creative appropriation and exploitation of all these influences.” Taken from the preface of The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler, by Ansbacher and Ansbacher. [#3] “The group, used in the generic sense, does not need to subdue the individual into a state of conformity. In the best sense it can become an agent of self-understanding and thus an agent of freedom of cooperation. The individual is made more aware and gains greater insight into the consequences of his own style of life, his own characteristic way of operating. As the group accepts him, as he feels accepted, he becomes free. As he recognizes the consequences of his behavior, he begins to modify it. The process is dependent on cooperative non-coercive types of leadership.... Conformity is essentially an evasion of self-understanding, an unwillingness to examine and to become aware, and the giving up of individuality.” Arnold Buchheimer, Ph.D. [#4] “Self-trust is the essence of heroism.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American Essayist and Poet Also: "If you let yourself be blown to and fro, you lose touch with your root. If you let restlessness move you, you lose touch with who you are." Lao-Tzu in the Tao Te Ching, 7th Century BC Chinese philosopher.
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