LifePsych®.com is an educational web site that promotes positive psychology and the professional consulting practice of David L. Hanson, Ph.D. LifePsych®.com is dedicated to providing a positive understanding of human nature; providing positive techniques to implement this knowledge in daily living; and promoting a positive quality of life for all people by strengthening worldwide democracy and socially interested capitalism.
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Once Upon A Time Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a beautiful meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the young man that I am. Then, my dear, we can marry and live in yon castle with my mother, where you can bear my children and serve me for the rest of your life, and feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, as the princess dined on sautéed frog legs in a white wine sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so."
They say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That's not as bad as it sounds, considering that the other 50% end in death.
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
Death: The Ultimate Post-reinforcement Pause A new business was opening, and a long-time friend of the owner decided to send flowers for the occasion. He arrived at the "grand opening", accepted a glass of champagne and a warm handshake from his host, then browsed about the room examining the many floral arrangements and potted plants. Finally, he happened upon his own offering, only to find an attached card bearing this sentiment: "Rest in Peace" Embarrassed and irate at the florist's error, he phoned to lodge a complaint. After venting his anger in a lengthy tirade, he waited impatiently for the florist's explanation. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry....imagine this: Somewhere a funeral is taking place today, and they have a lovely floral spray with an attached note saying: "Congratulations on you new location!"
A successful CEO has been asked by a journalist: "What is the secret of your success?" The CEO replied: "I can answer this question in two words: Good decisions." Journalist: "Well, but what is it that makes you decisions so good?" CEO: "I can answer this question in just one word: Experience." Journalist: "Aha, and what is it that makes your experiences so unique?" CEO: "To answer this question, I need two words again: bad decisions."
Specific instructions for driving yourself "crazy." 1. Strive to avoid all difficulties in life. 2. Find ways to be loved by everyone. 3. Make every effort to be perfeck. 4. Gain extreme confidence in your rigid self-righteousness. 5. Understand that the past determines the future. 6. While some think that life is an excellent gift, know that life is not fair.
Tell us a good one! We may select it with your name on it if it fits well with positive psychology and encouraging humor.
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